Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Down Time...(yes, I finally got some)

Well...I don't really have anything specific to blog about but I thought since I skipped out on blogging last week I would double up this week :) I thought I would just talk a little about what's been on my mind.

Lately I've started to really miss my independence. I've never considered myself to be much of an independent person but I realize now that every American is to an extent. The simple things like being able to go to the store when I want, take a shower when I feel like it, wake up when I'm ready, eat whenever I feel like it...things like that I really have taken for granted until now. I'd love to say that I won't take advantage of them when I get off tour but in reality I'm sure I'll slip back into my old lifestyle eventually after I return. I do think that I'll forever be more conscious of just how independent my lifestyle is. It's really as if I've become a parent over night, but not just your typical family. I parent along with 6 other moms and 4 dads and together we work together to parent 23 children between the ages of 9 & 14. It's like parenting in the extreme. I never realized how much this internship would teach me about parenting. I'm learning to work together with "my spouses" (haha) because we have to be consistent with our parenting practices. The kids desperately want to find loop holes within us so that they can get their way. It's a big challenge. I love the challenge though - I feel like when the day comes for me to be a parent I'm going to have a lot of experience behind me that very few people have the opportunity to be a part of.

Another thing I miss are simple things like watching TV or movies and hanging out with my friends. I really really miss my friends. I find myself longing to hang out with them and just be a normal 23 year old from time to time. I also miss my job (my other one, being a Children's Director). All of you at BUMC should be happy to hear that. It's true though. I really miss being there to help make decisions and plan for the kids. I keep praying that everything is going well and that my volunteers have everything under control. I left everything in GREAT hands so I'm not terribly concerned, but I do miss all of the people at BUMC very much. I also miss HeartFIRE and worshiping on Sunday mornings! I'm excited to see where the new service is when I return - I've been praying for you guys! Of course I miss my family as well. I've gotten used to being 4 hours away from my family while living in Statesboro for the past 4 years but there's something about being on the road and knowing that I can't just drive 4 hours to go see them that makes the distance different. I'm missing out on a lot at home since it's getting time for the holiday stuff to start happening - I'm praying that Daraja will provide a lot of cool holiday memories for me instead!

Even though I miss a lot things, I want you to know I'm having a BLAST on tour. The kids are so amazing. On one had kids have the same qualities universally, but on the other hand these children are so different from American children. They truly love unconditionally, they have a capacity to learn and lead spiritually that I've never seen in American children. Sometimes I wonder if we limit our children in America simply because we don't think they're ready or able to comprehend certain things about Christianity. We dumb down and water down Christianity to only talk about the happy things instead of putting the truth out there and then helping explain it on their terms. Kids have such a capacity to learn - we (as a church) are doing American children such a disservice by deciding that they're not "old enough" comprehend Christianity. I've really been thinking about this a lot lately and have been trying to determine if it's a difference in the kids or if it's a difference in the leadership from adults. I think it has more to do with the leadership. I have challenged myself to be extremely conscious of this when I return to work. Children are capable of so much more than we allow them to be.

I know I've been rambling, but I just wanted to share my heart with you guys for a change. Please pray that God would give me more clarity about the things I've been talking about. I want this internship to have a huge influence on the way I do my job when I get back. I think God has put me on this tour to better my knowledge of children and how to guide them spiritually. Please pray as well for my heart. I have such a desire to get to know these kids on a deep level and really be a strong mentor for them. I realize that I can't be this for every single one of them, but I pray that God would allow for me to have this kind of a relationship with some of them. We're half way through tour and I've yet to really get into the heads of these kids and dig into their personal stories. I feel it coming soon, just pray that God would use me as He sees fit.

To my family and friends that will be in Toccoa when Daraja is there - I will see you in 18 days!!!!! I can't wait. I love everyone of you so very much. And of course the word of the day.... sijui. This means, "I don't know." It's become one of my favorite responses! :)

Much love!
Allison :)